Sick Feeling

He made it...Graham made it out of the week (or so) that insurance would give him at Baylor.  At first, we did not believe he would.  Now he has to move again to another long term facility.  He will be going to the same namesake as the previous place.  We have been told it is different, they are better and more equipped to handle a patient like Graham.  We have been "promised" again that they have all meds, equipment, employees skilled in transplant patients, and that they know we are coming.  But to me, it's like if you buy a Chevy and it turns out to be a lemon - do you buy another Chevy or go to a Ford?  I get it, they are not all the same...but do you chance life?

We have no choice.  I went to take a tour and all worried questions went away, but the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach still remains.  They do seem to have a better grip on patients like Graham.  And we learned this is where Graham was SUPPOSED to go first.  Why were we never told?  We would have NEVER chanced experience vs experiment.  NEVER!  The drive will NEVER be a factor when it comes to a loved ones life.  The move is supposed to occur tomorrow - Wednesday.  We wanted to make sure to get in 2 photo treatments just in case they cannot provide a mobile unit.  If they have to transfer him to and from Baylor for photo, I do not believe he will make it.  Moving him is too difficult now.

Graham's health has greatly declined since returning to Baylor.  After the Honeymoon of our return faded, his humor has too.  Well, his verbal humor.  He still likes to flaunt his boob pillow (or as some have referred to them as his "Moobs") and he'll press Wolfie's howling button.  This is the stuffed animal Jordy has given him to help comfort him.  His smiles are gone again, his jokes have disappeared, however his comfort and mental state are still good.  And this is what is so important.  No one should die miserable, especially a man that provided so much joy and life to others.

The transfer tomorrow scares me.  Just going down to photo within the same building is hard enough on Graham.  Now moving him in an ambulance to a new place with a scary name...I am worried he won't make it.  Please pray the transfer goes smoothly, he recovers from the stress quickly, and they are sufficiently able to keep him comfortable in his remaining days.