Bittersweet

Do you ever have something you don't want to say or write because it makes it real?  This is it...it's what has always loomed around the corner from us that we have been trying to run away from.  It's what Graham has VERY successfully won each battle and fought with all his might.  But the War could never have been won - is this too many analogies?  I can keep going...keep stalling.

Photopheresis was a big problem at our "long term facility."  A mobile unit was supposed to come to Graham, 2 days a week, every other week.  But the dang machine kept breaking...we have the WORST luck with stuff.  And since this is the treatment that we credit to saving his life, it's kind of important.  So the next step was to transfer him to the Apheresis Lab at Baylor (!!!!!  we soooo miss those lovely ladies!!!!).  Though it was highly concerning for me.  When Graham's health was somewhat better, this was a difficult procedure and he needed several days to recuperate.  And now with his health so much worse and the ride in an ambulance with NO SHOCK SYSTEM, I was afraid he wouldn't make it.

And he almost didn't.  By the time we arrived in the Apheresis Lab at Baylor, Graham was extremely nauseous, massive headache, beat red and couldn't stop throwing up.  Even during treatment.  Now, I'm no rocket scientist, but if blood were being continuously removed from your

body, should you be bright red???

He made it through treatment and Dr. Rosenblatt came to see him afterwards.  Within minutes, Rosenblatt had to pull his mother and me to the side.  Because of his high CO2, his body is starting to shut down.  He will admit him into Baylor under Hospice Care to make sure that he is comfortable in his remaining days.  It still hurts to write. 

We were welcomed back to our 2nd home with open arms, not going to lie - we both needed it.  Casanova worked his pill magic and within an hour both headache and nausea were gone.  And Graham was back!  I even had to bring the Boob pillow back up the next day.  Friday, back in the comforts of "home" and back in our non-bar but everyone knows are name place, Graham's stress level dropped drastically.  And not just glimpses of Graham have returned, but GRAHAM has returned!  And the jokes have not stopped.  Be warned if and when you come to see him, the jokes are HIGHLY inappropriate - but awesome at the same time.  If these are his final days, I am so glad that I get to be with the jokester that I fell in love with 15 years ago.  His body is still continuing to decline...his shakes have become almost convulsions at times; he will fall asleep mid-sentence or mid-Yahtzee roll; and he has been repeating himself more than usual.  How this man still continues to entertain the masses amazes me!

This is an old picture of the boobs - Graham no longer looks like this, but he is just as cute!

This board just kept getting more and more graffitied up...all the lil' men at the bottom are even decorated :)