We're Back!!!

Stress, in anybody, always causes a breakdown of your body.  And if you are already sick, it will only cause you to breakdown more.  As much as I love the Holidays, it causes stress too - even if you are not doing anything (whether capable, or not - I don't know if much has changed in that category).  By Friday, Graham was not improving at all and he began to get worried with the weekend approaching and the what if he kept declining and couldn't see his doctor. I called in and the doctor suggested coming into the ER and have him checked out. 

The process was quick!  And we were back into a room within minutes.  After a quick talk with the parade of doctors, he was admitted.  About this time, the Charge Nurse from his 2nd home floor called to check on him after discharge.  I told her not to hold her breath, we'd be back up within an hour. 

After blood tests, flu test, and x-rays...no clue what is going on with him.  He came in with shortness of breath, wheezing and pain in his lung while he did his CPT - all signs that pointed to pneumonia, but it still has not been identified as to what is going on with him.  Maybe his cultures will come back explaining more.  As for now, he's camped out on floor 10 again, and feeling crummy.  I don't believe this weather is helping...but we are trying to make the best of it!

We be stylin' with our new fashion accessory

Very Thankful

***This was written on Thanksgiving, I'm not too much of a procrastinator, just didn't know if I wanted to post***

There are so many things to be Thankful for, almost too many to list, but I can try.  First of all God, who has given me and my family so much  Second, Graham and Jordan who are the loves of my life.  For my family and friends who give us more love and support than we deserve.  And the love of strangers - so many that know us only through our family and friends, yet they also give us love and support.

I am also very thankful for stress relievers: movies, clean house, wine, dog and cat, lawn guys, the Chive, Criminal Case and Candy Crush, creating things, wine, windows open in the week of fall, vodka in the spring/summer, whiskey in the fall/winter, Jordan playing soccer, a clean desk, Holidays, my awesome neighborhood, cooking, clean house and wine, my church service and how they entertain and teach, and so, so, so much more.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

The Great Nose Bleed of '15

Get ready...it's lengthy:

Graham keeps calling it "just a nose bleed" and I'm glad he doesn't remember much of the trauma behind it all.  On Friday, Graham went in to have blood work to check his levels.  His INR (Coumadin levels - tells the thinness of his blood) were extremely high...5, they want it around 1.  So Graham knew that until his number was low, be careful or he'll bleed. 

Saturday morning, as we are getting ready for Jordy's tournament, Graham wakes up with a nosebleed (kind of looked like a faucet was turned on, I've never seen that thinness of blood).  Kleenex was not working, so we moved on to Tampons.  The look on Graham's face after I suggested this was priceless; but he did it anyway.  It would not stop.  Ladies, you'll understand this...he was bleeding through slim tampons within a minute, regular tampons within 3 minutes, and super within 5-6 minutes.  We went ahead and went to Jordy's game - she only had one and it was an 8 o'clock game.  It was surely going to stop, right?  Graham had to stay in the car.  Sting, Jordan's team, shut out the other team and once we got back to the car, Graham was starting to panic not knowing what to do.  He called the On Call service and they told him to put ice on his nose and continue packing it with a tampon - and eat spinach (um, he can't eat anything). 

An hour later, still gushing, he called again.  After waiting an hour with no return call, we went in to the Baylor Emergency Care in Mansfield (I highly DO NOT recommend the weekend Dr).  After 3 hours of constant bleeding, they became too afraid to work on him and called for an ambulance. I asked if I could take him, and they denied me..."standard procedure, against the rules, BS, BS, BS."  So after another HOUR of waiting, the ambulance finally arrived (emergency facility my ass).  Of 37 years of bad health, this was Graham's first ambulance ride.  Not as exciting as he imagined.  He rode for 50 minutes on a hard board and his butt hurt.  Side effect of no meat on your bones.

Now, once we arrived, I had already been tested the whole day with my fear of blood.  I was weak, in pain, and nauseous...BUT NO FAINTING!  We arrive at the check-in desk and then walks up a Care Flight Pilot holding a Styrofoam cup with a Biohazard Bag stinking out.  I accidently said out loud, "Please don't be a finger" and Graham's ENT took it upon himself to have fun with me.  He proceeded to ask what was in the cup and the pilot responded, "Oh I got a thumb!"  I had to put my head on the counter and inform everyone that I would be fine, I wake up within a minute and DO NOT Code Purple me!!!  They need to imagine that I was wearing a DNR sticker on my chest.  Luckily, there was no passing out.

Once we got into an ER room, all hell broke lose.  Four people began working on him at once, complaining that Mansfield couldn't do anything to help stop this.  One was applying oxygen, one was giving him IV pain medicine, the doctor was working on his nose, and one was just flat out in the way.  Never figured out that guy and why he was always there.  By this point it was estimated Graham had lost over 2 pints of blood.  His Hemoglobin level had dropped from 12 to 10 from this morning.  His INR was slowly declining, but not fast enough.  In Mansfield it was 4 and by Dallas it was 3.4.  Graham began choking on blood clots and he was wearing about 1 cup of blood on his clothing.  There was some fear of using a "Rhino Rocket" due to his INR and breathing, but the pros now out weighed the cons.  A Rhino Rocket is a 7 1/2 inch deflated tampon.  Once COMPLETELY shoved up his nose, they inflate it.  It is saturated in medicine and complete fills up the nasal cavity.  During the shoving, my poor husband was in pure pain.  Gagging on blood, pain from the rocket, bleeding out his other nostril and spitting out clots.  But once done, the pain meds took effect and the bleeding stopped.  You could FINALLY, after 13 hours of misery, see Graham relax. 

Just on the other hallway, my Cousin Doug, was in another room with a broken back.  He fell something around 15 feet from a tree while hunting.  I took this time to go and see him.  Luckily, only a couple of vertebrae's were chipped.  Yes, this is horrible and painful, but it could be SO much worse.  Spinal cord was safe, they were not completely broken, and ligaments looked good, and with time and physical therapy, he should be back to normal.  Kim, you were a rock star!

Dr. Rosenblatt left a date with his wife to pay Graham a visit.  He admitted Graham into hospital to observe him and let him know he'll be here until Monday.  He also told Graham to stop picking his nose :)  Finally, we went to our 2nd home on the 10th floor around 9:30.  It had been a day, and it was going to be a long night.  Graham was in pain, couldn't breathe, and because of breathing O2 through his mouth all day, his throat was beginning to hurt.  But the day was done. 

Sunday:  though there was no bleeding, was no better.  His whole head throbbed, he couldn't speak, and couldn't eat.  Swallowing his pills began to be a chore.  Where he typically can swallow a handful and be done, he could only take a few at a time because he couldn't breathe. 

Monday:  he went down to the IR lab, you know, the place he almost died, to have yet another "simple procedure."  They took a scope and tool up through his groin access and repaired (like a patch) several spots on an arterial vein in his nose.  Turns out, he had damage to a big vein in his nose.  This with a combination of his high INR is what caused all this mess.  His hemoglobin level had now dropped to 7.4 and he was in need of a blood transfusion.  As I lay next to the blood bag, our dear child decided to think this is cool and DESCRIBE EVERYTHING.  I came very close, but still no passing out.  After this, they removed the Rhino Rocket and it was instant - he felt so much better.  They still needed to keep him and we fought and won, he would go home Tuesday not Wednesday.

Tuesday:  we are still waiting to be transferred down to Photopheresis, but they have already put in the discharge order.  He's coming home.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers.  They have been answered.  My Grandmother is now at peace with Our Lord, Doug is now home and resting, and Graham will be home today.

***The thought just occurred to me: What if the vein did not fall and did not come through his nose?  He would have been bleeding internally and it might not have been caught until it was too late.  Thank you God for blessings in weird disguises.

My poor baby :(

Life Sucks Right Now

To say life sucks right now is an understatement.  My side of the family is having tragedy after tragedy and we need some thoughts and prayers.  I will write about the whole debacle with Graham later, because it's an ordeal I don't want to forget and need in writing.

Graham is back in the hospital.  He had an arterial vein bust and lost several pints of blood.  He went in to surgery this morning to fix it and will have a blood transfusion later.  If all goes well, he should be home tomorrow.

Also in the hospital (and was 2 doors down from us in the ER) is my cousin.  He fell out of a tree while hunting and has broken his back in several places.  Luckily it was just his vertebrae and with time and therapy he'll be fine.  But the pain is tremendous.

My Grandmother had a stroke last Friday and this morning my Daddy is having to do the unthinkable and pull the plug.  She'll be on pain meds and fluids until she passes.

A dear friend of the family has just received horrible news and their family needs prayers.

With all this going on, my strength is being tested.  I have faith it will all go as planned, but the journey still sucks.

Prayers are Needed...again

Not wanting to post to FB because I know so much is going on with so many of our close family and friends. Graham is on his way back to the hospital, via ambulance, due to a non-stop, faucet like, nose bleed. We have been in an Emergency Care facility most of the afternoon and they can no longer care for him. He has lost well over a pint of blood and is cold and weak. Praying they can quickly stop this at Baylor Dallas.

Tournament Season

One of Graham's favorite things in this world is watching Jordan play soccer.  And now that it's tournament season, Graham is bound and determined to make it to as many games as possible.  This is much easier said than done. 

This past weekend was Jordy's first travel tournament.  We packed the ol' car to the brim with a wheelchair, oxygen (large and portable), soccer gear, soccer mom bags, carts, and don't forget the clothes; and headed to Norman, OK.  It always amazes me how much my car is like a clown car, so much can fit in it! 

Even though it was COLD and RAINY and at times down right miserable, J's team came home with 2nd place medals.  Graham was able to tough it out through 3 of the games.  He did have to rest between games and spent a lot of time in the car trying to regain some energy, but he got to go and was happy.  He didn't make the last game, he was beginning to feel really bad; plus it was cold, windy and raining (he didn't need to be out there anyways). 

The Championship game was miserable.  I got to sit with the girls on their sidelines and attempt to keep them warm while they "sat the bench."  We kept ourselves entertained - of course while watching the game, and we tried unsuccessfully to keep warm.  It was all worth it though, the smiles on their faces were awesome.

The trip did take a toll on Graham.  We were worried that he'd go back into the hospital.  But by the end of the day on Monday, he felt as if he were just warn out not "sick."  Then by Wednesday evening, he was finally feeling like normal crap not crappy crap.

Next tournament is this weekend...and the weather is suppose to be just as bad...ugh. 



It's all Unicorns and Hearts



Went to Norman and OU still sucks!!!

Sadie had fun too :)

2nd place fabulousness

For Better or For Worse

Exactly 8 years ago tonight I got to marry the man of my dreams.  I know it sounds funny, but the night I met Graham, I was hooked.  I knew he was something fabulous and I knew he would mean something to me.  What exactly, I didn't know.  But now I do...

Graham is my best friend, my go to person, the one I count on to cheer me up and to hear me vent and to tell me he's proud of me and to definitely tell me when I'm messing up. 

He knows the real me and still loves me. 

Graham is my backbone when I can't find the strength to do what I need to do.  I would definitely not be the person I am today without him.  He has taught me that I am something great and I am someone worth a voice.  He has encouraged me through some really difficult times and has been there every time I have failed or succeeded.

He is the Father of our beautiful daughter.  And he isn't just a Father, he's a Daddy.  One who gets out there and plays with his kid and her friends.  Not only does he do this for his own child; he comes to school and is there for my students' who may not have this kind of interaction.  Or those who do but just love to play. 

I have always been an optimistic person; but not until I met Graham was I someone who fought to make the positive outcome I wanted, happen.  Graham is the strongest, most optimistic, biggest hard head, stubborn, fighter I know.  He has almost never given up and taken no for an answer.  As miserable as his life is right now, he wants to be here and is continuing to fight to make it. 

Thank you God for giving me him.  Thank you for giving us support and comfort.  Many times I feel as if we don't deserve it and I don't understand it, but I am so grateful for it.  Please continue to be with us.

Yep - it's a Twinkie and Hostess Cupcake Groom's Cake

#KCCO

The Chive is a website or mobile app that houses most of the funny, motivational, and random crap from the internet.  Graham has followed it religiously for quite sometime.  In the beginning, I would grumble every time he would make me stop what I was doing just to try and make me laugh or cry depending on the subject of the picture(s) he wanted to show me.  And the videos, oh the videos, ugh - they took up my time I could be reading!  Then he introduced me to Cat Saturday, Animals That Don't Suck, and Sooo....You Got Wasted (all of these are categories they put pictures in).  I might have then downloaded the app onto my phone.  And then I might have secretly began to look at the Chive ever so often (NOT every 10 minutes like my dear husband).  He soon busted me and then began his stupid "I told you so" song and dance of how I'd like it.  But I did.

The Chive has been more than just a following for Graham to do.  He has spent most of the days of his life in bed (either at home or in a hospital); and we all know how 'great' daytime television is.  However, Graham does love him some Judge Judy and Judge Millian.  Since he doesn't read, he has spent WAY too many days bored out of his mind until the Chive came along.  Now, he spends less time bored and more time laughing his ass off or being reminded that there are other's out there that have it way worse than him.

The other day, while contemplating if he could work the nerve up to take a shower or not (things we take for granted and other's wish they could do), he was flipping through the "Chive Everywhere" section and came across a photo.  He stopped and actually said, "That looks like my daughter, weird."  and kept flipping through the photos.  He then went back to the picture and yelled, "THAT IS JORDAN!"  I don't know how or why she came to be on the Chive, but I do know that it put a smile on his face after a rough day.

Graham is still "Stable but Fragile."  He has good and bad days, good and bad hours, good and bad minutes.  He can't predict how he will feel and it frustrates him.  He is having horrible headaches often that cause his breathing to be shallow at times.  But he is still fighting and doing more and more each day - he drove for the first time on Saturday...scared the $&#! out of me at first, but he did it.  Getting in and out of his big truck took the breath out of him, so starting the truck was delayed, but again - he did it.  I'm so proud of him.

Picture from the Chive - Chive On

#FIGHTFORGRAHAM

Most people know, Graham and I are very stubborn when it comes to asking for anything.  And family and very close friends constantly ignore our pleas and help us anyways.  Because they know we are not strong and know we cannot do this without them.  Stacy is one of those.  She has constantly ignored our pleas and has given us so much.  Today one of her efforts shined through and was awesome.  I don't think I'll ever be able to thank her enough for what she did for us.  It was more than the shirts, it was seeing the love and support that we have felt throughout this horrible ordeal.  Thank you for everyone who purchased a shirt.  I hope you wear it proudly for Graham.  A simple request...please take a picture or selfie whenever you wear it and post it (please tag me) with the #FIGHTFORGRAHAM



Green = Transplant
Purple = Cystic Fibrosis

Not a Nipple Photobomb

I was really hoping that his nipple decided to make an appearance in his last x-ray; but no such luck.  Apparently the blur was a fungal infection and they will be treating him with Vorcorti....whatever.  The plan is to only treat him for a couple of months, the last time he was on it for a good stint of time, his skin cancer began appearing at a frightening rate.  He was seeing the doctor monthly removing at least 1/2 a dozen cancerous spots every time.  The hope is that 2 months is enough treatment to fight the fungal infection while not enough time to trigger whatever it is that makes the cancer angry.

It was apparent this weekend, however, that it was an infection in his lung.  Graham had big plans for Halloween, even wanting to dress up to hand out candy.  By Saturday morning, the want was no longer there.  He did make it around the block once with the Jordans (Jordy's close friend and neighbor is also named Jordan - I like to refer to them as "the Jordans") collecting candy and began handing candy out at the bottom of our driveway afterwards.  He loved seeing all our neighbors and friends and fought to stay out as long as he did.  Saturday, Jordan had 2 soccer games and the plan was to attend both.  It warmed our hearts to have so many people help up make it up and down the hill that her first game's field was surrounded by.  Because, without saying anything out loud, I was wondering how the crap I was going to do it.  My new little orange wagon looked pretty pathetic.  After the game, we went to lunch with the team.  I could tell in the car he would not make it long.  Not 15 minutes in, I wheeled him back to the car.  He felt horrible and as soon as we got home, he took his temperature and it was 100.???   It didn't matter.  For the regular Joe, a small fever is nothing to be too worried about.  Take some IB Profin or Tylenol and sleep it off.  But for a Transplant Patient like Graham, it's much like a small baby with a fever that won't break.  Any type of cold, infection, or rejection can make him crash fast (as we got to witness this summer); and there is not much lower he can go.  He stayed home and rested through the 2nd game and luckily his fever broke.

This whole ordeal knocked him out - it wasn't until today, 4 days later, that he is beginning to feel like normal crap not death crap again.