A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks - Janet has been given more attention than she deserves. My neuro oncologist, Dr. Waghela, referred me to go to a radiologist...AND I DID NOT LIKE HIM! But just so you know, I LOVE HER! She is so kind and will answer all my stupid questions without hesitation. I was just told that I have cancer and now this radiologist is telling me he recommends no treatment....WHAT!?!?!? I HAVE CANCER AND YOU WON'T TREAT ME! And when I asked him, his answer was stupid - because we don't. That doesn't make sense to me - make it make sense to me. Guess what, he didn't. I left angry and frustrated. My daughter has 1 parent left and this man won't treat my cancer. Luckily, I am surrounded my a TON of family and friends in the medical field that helped me wrap, what brain I have left, around the fact that surgery is treatment. But until I get the results from the "further testing" and another pathology report, I will not breathe a sigh of relief or relax.
Then Christmas happened...I was able to go down to Houston (Mom was so kind to drive me - Miss Daisy- and Jordy) and spend it with my brother Scott's beautiful family and my Aunts and Uncle. So much Joy and Laughter and Love; I miss holidays in Houston. Ever since we had Jordan, we kind of stopped going down there; I was so excited to be back. Thank you Houston Klan for hosting. I was so mad that I spent most of the time tired...I hadn't been in my Aunt and Uncle's house but 5 minutes and I was soberly passed out and drooling on the couch! Damnit Janet - this is what I had been looking forward to since Graham's untimely death and you are making me sleep and making me sober on a holiday!!! I still managed to wake up a bit to party some, but not like I usually do - I like to play with my child and nieces - didn't happen; I love to talk adult talk with my family - barely happened; a weird Joy in my life is to clean kitchens - barely happened; but I did get to see everyone. They say it's the Anti-Seizure med KEPRA that I am on that is making me tired and not feel as well as I should. I get to go see that doctor January 4...fingers crossed he can help me because I HATE NOT BEING ME!
My amazingly talented brother did heal me of all the annoying neck pain I have been having since surgery - oh the relief to turn my head and see something! I went down to Houston thinking I was now 90 years old...but after hanging out with my sweet 1 year old niece...I might be 1 again. I swear, any activity makes me tired and out of breath, I'm only hungry for what I want to eat, I'm cranky and tired and need naps...so even turning my whole body to look left would exasperate me. Thanks Scoot for eliminating that annoyance!!!
As we left for Houston, apparently Dr. Waghela called and my full pathology report was back...but of course my phone froze up and I couldn't answer. So I had to wait 5 days until their offices opened back up to find out if Janet had any margins, mutations, or words I can't say let alone spell.
I spoke to Dr. Waghela today...no mutations, negative margins (meaning complete recession - tumor was FULLY removed- YOU ROCK DR. MEYRAT), again - more words I have no clue what they mean let alone spell...my risk factor did go up a bit, but I do still have some positives working in my favor. So as for right now (drum roll please)...NO TREATMENT EXCEPT MRIs EVERY 3 MONTHS!!!!!!!!! And when I asked Dr. Waghela why I have cancer and no one will treat me, she actually explained it to me WITH examples. She also told me that this is a normal feeling to have and that most patients that have a low grade tumor like me, feel this way. If Janet does come back, her first line of defense will be Chemo - this excites me because she will treat me, she just doesn't do radiology, and I LOVE HER, so I won't have to go back to that radiologist I don't like!
I, for the first time during this hell hole, actually feel something positive. I am so thankful for her and her explanations. So I will only change my diet, makeup, shampoo/conditioner, and a few other things.
Thank you so much for all your continued positive thoughts and prayers - they are working still...even after a year and a half. And now with my own personal Angel in Heaven, I think things are looking up. I told Jordan that I didn't have to have treatments because for now, Janet is gone, but Mommy is going nowhere. Her smile and happy tears, she finally breathed after a month. My sweet little girl. She is so brave and strong.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HEARS TO A MUCH BETTER 2017!
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