The Why Me Question

I have never been a "why me" person and Graham never was either until the very end.  So why would faithful people who always looked at the bright side of things change?  I think I have it figured out....because we had it all...the dream or fairy tale everyone wants.
We were madly in love with a trust between us that most envied; Graham was finally healthy and we were doing anything and everything to create magical memories around the globe; we have a BEAUTIFUL, SMART, FUNNY little girl who can and will conquer it all, we had just bought our "forever home" in a neighborhood storybook writers dream of, and both of us loved our job (that might be the rarest of all).  And then our mountain came crashing....Graham became sick and passed away...and now me.
Today I was diagnosed with a Grade 2 Astrocytoma brain tumor.  People keep telling me "Yay! Best news ever."  I don't get it...it's still cancer.  I have brain cancer.  My daughter just lost her father and now she gets to watch her mommy battle brain cancer - as if ADHD didn't mess my mind up enough. Damn-it Janet!
However, I do LOVE to hear the woo hoos!  Because that means it is good.  I am the only person in my immediate family that is not in the medical field (dad gum blood got in the way for me) and all of them agree - woo hoo!  And that means the world to me.
I can't sleep, which makes the mind wonder, but it actually did me good tonight.  I have an epiphany.  Dr. Meyrat, my neurosurgeon, was highly aggressive in the surgery and got all of Janet.  Now, all I have to do is train the brain I have left to think about all this radiation or chemo I might get.  Please DO NOT correct me if I'm wrong - what I don't know, shouldn't hurt me - but I'm going to start thinking of the chemo and radiation as medicine (you know, like an antibiotic) to make sure Janet and her stupid little star like fingers never come back.  I will be here for my daughter.  So FU Cancer!